This weekend a powerful message was
hammered back into me in a slightly uncomfortable incredibly humbling way. This
message I speak of is the message that prayer is powerful and that when we
allow God to move great things happen. Although I know these things in my head
I sadly have to be constantly reminded of them.
This journey of rediscovery began
on Friday night when the junior high youth group
appeared on the scene as hyper and chatty as ever. As we drove over to the
restaurant the noise level in the car was well beyond 140 decibels and was
causing my head to pound with discomfort. When I asked them to be quiet so I
could call the restaurant and tell them we were going to be running late one
kid’s response was, “it’s impossible for me to be quiet” and he continued on
yelling through my call. Not only was I annoyed at the current situation, but
also I already dreaded the response to my request for 2 hours of silence during
the prayer tour later that night. The night went on and my attitude continued
to get worse. As the prayer tour began the talking, racially offensive
comments, and spastic movements did not despite my pleas for silent prayer. By
the time we got home I had tried every method in the book that I knew of to get
these children to be quiet. Any ideas that I had about my growing patience were
shattered as I stood in front of these kids restraining myself from breaking
every rule in the handbook. I busted in the door about to break. I couldn’t do
2 more days of this.
I
lay in bed that night unable to sleep from the frustration that continued to
surge throughout my body. My head pounded as I lay dreading the next day with
these kids. Even though it was incredibly late, I got up and brought this
situation before the Lord. I prayed out to Him in complete despair for I knew
on my own strength I could not continue through this weekend. As I prayed I was
filled with comfort. I texted a number of individuals I knew were praying for
me back home and asked them to really bathe my weekend in prayer. I asked them
to pray for me to be filled with patience I didn’t know I was capable of and
for God to do a miracle and prove me wrong about this group.
The
next morning I woke up feeling better but still a bit unsure. As the day
continued I began to not recognize the group or myself. The same students that
I thought I was going to murder the night before were becoming some of my
favorite in the group. Their goofiness and energy was no longer so annoying to
me, but was instead causing me joy and bringing out my absolutely ridiculous
side. I found myself responding to situations with patience and in ways I
didn’t understand. As I began to respect and enjoy the group more, so did they
respect me more than the previous day. When I would have to ask them to sit or
quiet down they actually listened. This was not the same group from the night
before and I was not the same person as the day before.
The incredibly fast turn around from the night before made it
so clear that this was not on my own doing. There is nothing that I did to make
this group better, in fact I could not have had a worse attitude about them,
but God showed me truly how great He is. Through all the prayer and God’s great
work the entire weekend turned around and I had an amazing time. God had to
bring me to utter despair and break me in order to open up the situation for
Him to step in and do great things. It is so great to be reminded of the beauty
that occurs when our broken selves are humbled to the point that we stop trying
to do it on our own and instead let God work.
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